


Choices

by InadvertentlyRomantic



Category: The Mindy Project
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-03-26 04:36:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3837328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InadvertentlyRomantic/pseuds/InadvertentlyRomantic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set right after Season 3's finale "Best man"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

So he went to India and met her parents. So he declared how much he was in love with her and committed to their three-person unit, which he so confidently termed “family”, to her actual family. There was an almost three-page long email she got from her parents detailing their opinions of him that she chose not to read yet, not until they had their talk, the talk he had promised her before he left. 

When she had located where he actually headed to instead of Peter’s wedding, she had prepared herself for what would come. Ironically, when nothing would ever change in their relationship, not after the baby was born, not somewhere down the road, not “eventually”, everything had changed for her. Suddenly, her instincts went into overdrive. She loved this baby, she loved this baby more than anything in the world, and nothing could change that. But she loved herself, too. Maybe a little more than she loved him, maybe a little too much to let him dictate how their relationship should be, and how committed he could be to it. It was time, she decided, to try harder for more, for herself and for her baby. 

Mindy threw herself into the workload at her fertility clinic, and at the office they still shared. She actually tried to listen to the advice by the doctor Peter had recommended, because even though she seemed kinda nuts, she did know what she was talking about in terms of the medical stuff and had some spot on suggestions for Mindy’s diet and footwear. All the while she was playing what she would tell him when he came back. She didn’t know how he would react, but it was not gonna be easy, that much she knew.

She was packing all her clothes into the ginormous suitcase when the sound of his keys in the door shook her out of her trance. “Here we go, little one”, she thought when he opened the bedroom door and his eyes bulged in what she was not sure, definitely shock, and hurt, and probably anger as well when he saw the mess of clothes laying on his bed with her suitcase nearby. She started talking before she heard his voice, before his questions and all his ‘I love you’s’ because they would make her doubt her decisions, and as sure as she was that they were the right one for her, she wasn’t neccessarily happy making them.


	2. Chapter 2

Her lips quivered a bit when she saw how white his knuckles had become. “One of us may not get out of this alive”, she thought, before saying in a long huff of breath: “ Danny please don’t freak out. I’m just going to move next door, to the other apartment. I think it would be better if we stop what we are doing now.”. She stopped talking to gauge his reaction. He looked like he was being punched in the face and the stomach at the same time. His face contorted violently before the words came hoarsely out of his mouth “What do you mean?” . He was on his guard, expecting a show down of some kind before he walked through the door and yet he was still feeling totally defenseless in front of her, in front of the love of his life and the reminder that everything he ever loved could be taken away with her, everything. So he tried to remain calm, passive, and waited his turn to explain things to her, to persuade her, to win her over again. 

She didn’t want to look him in the eye when she said what she had to, but there was no avoiding it, so she braced the tears in the back of her eyes and pressed on: “ I mean we should stop being a couple. I mean we should just co-parent this child until one of us is dead. I mean, I… I don’t want to be with you anymore.” And then she let loose of her tears, not even bothering to wipe them away, she continued: “I’m sorry, it’s not you. It’s us. We want different things and it would not be fair for either of us to ask what we want from the other. I want you to be happy, I really do, but I just think it wouldn’t be with me.“ "I’ve done it.”, he thought. “I’ve finally fucked things up so much that she has given up on me.” Despair and sadness bled into him, slowly immerse him with their darkness. He had lost all thoughts. All of his hopes and dreams had been smashed by the defeat laced in her voice. He was gonna tell her that he had come to India to meet her parents, he had decided that as underserving and unloveable as he was, he would just go ahead and offer her everything he could. He would just offer her his life, his commitment, his promise in whatever form she chose. He would have told her that she was right and wrong at the same time. She was right to expect marriage from the one she loved, but she was wrong about why he had been reluctant to give her that. It wasn’t because of her, no, not at all. It was because he had the most ridiculous vision that what he had with Mindy, what they would build together in the future, how happy they would become with the baby could not exist in the same universe as marriage. No, he had been absolutely convinced that marriage was his Ma and Alan, was him and Christina, was him waiting for someone who had promised to come but stood him up at the movie theatre anyway. But it wasn’t. It was Mindy’s parents raising her and Richie, it was Peter and Lauren, it was all the happy expecting couples in his practice. And it would be him and Mindy and his son. It would be the brownstone and the kiddy bicycle with the training wheels, it would be laughter and joy. It would be everything he wanted to give her, with or without a wedding ceremony, the rings and the toasts. When he reached the end of that thought he decided to toughen up, to fight for the both of them, so he said the first thing that came to his mind that may have had a chance to convince her to reconsider, he said: “What about the baby? He wouldn’t want that. It wouldn’t be good for him.”

She didn’t look at him now, so she failed to see the love and hopes filled to the rim in his eyes, and all she heard was that she was right, all he cared about was the baby, she was just what he had to take along for the ride. 

She shook her head and said: “ It wouldn’t be good for him either if his parents resent each other. I know it hurts now, and I don’t know when it will stop hurting, but we’ll have to try. At least this way, we may still get a chance for our own happiness.” The quiet firmness of her voice let him know that he had lost the fight. That she had decided to cut her losses and move on. He knew there was no persuading her now, not when the pains and the feeling of betrayal were still so fresh for her. So he just nodded at her to signal his acknowledgement of the situation and quickly wiped away the tears that had began to fall down freely on his cheeks. He still wanted to fight for them, but he knew not to argue and agitate a heavily pregnant woman when she was her most vulnerable.


	3. Chapter 3

Mindy’s due day was in a month and after much “discussion” about where the baby’s room was going to be, during which the only one doing all the talking was her and Danny would only nod, and fill the momentary silences with softly spoken monosylllabic words of agreement, they had come to a decision that there should be two baby rooms, one in Danny’s and the other in Danny’s other apartment, and they would take turn sleeping with the baby when he was 3 months old. Danny wasn’t crazy about that, but he conceded when Mindy compromised and let him become a live-in help for her in the other apartment in the last stretch of her pregnancy. Never before had the term live-in help been more aptly applied. Danny spent most of the time he was at home, her home, to be exact, cooking, cleaning, baby-proofing, and giving Mindy foot massage. She was uncomfortable at first about their almost unchanging situation, but then he just said that it was all for the baby and she just let it be. She was so sad to hear his confirmation that everything he did was all for his child, but still felt strangely hopeful for she could see that his words did not match his actions at all. 

No, Danny had never been more attentive and loving to her than now. The second he walked through the door, he would ask her about her day, tell her about his. He would ask her permission, which she promptly granted, to place his hands on her stomach and talk to their child while caressing her belly lightly with his big warm hands. Then he would put his ears and cheeks on her belly to listen to the baby and kissed her tummy lightly and bashfully before howling himself off to the kitchen to make them dinner. She didn’t want to admit it but she had come to crave for that part of the day to feel his touch, to have some semblance of physical contact with him more and more since the day they had broken up. She knew it was not the right thing to do, but she couldn’t help lacing her fingers through his hair, and caress his head when she heard his tired soft signs against her tummy. She kept telling herself that it was just them being there for each other during this time of need. But little did she know that that was not what on Danny’s mind when he did what he did. He already knew that she wouldn’t accept his marriage proposal now, not after what happened because she wouldn’t be convinced by just his words and promise that he wanted the same thing as her. So he decided to just give it to her, everything she would ask for in a marriage, at the present moment when he still had an excuse to. So he offered her his undivided attention, his love through his touch and food, his faithfulness, and his openness. That was why he not only told her about his day but also about his apprehension and insecurities and dreams. He shared with her his fears of not being a good father, of not living up to her expectations, of not having all the right answers all the time, of not being able to be there all the time. He also let her into his plans about the future. She noticed that he always used “we” for the plans he had in the future tense. He used “we” for choosing the kindergarten their child would attend, he used “we” for all the coming holidays, and all the vacations, and bed time stories, and soccer match, and dancing recitals, and their child’s first heartbreak and prom. At first she thought he was talking about himself and the baby experiencing things together, but when he got to the kid’s high school graduation, tears involuntarily fell down her cheeks. She realized that he was talking about her and him and their baby, that he wasn’t trying to include her in his future, he was building his future around her and the baby, that they were all his future held and needed. She didn’t know what to say to him for everything had all been said and done. But she knew she could just let herself love him, for who he was to her, and who he was going to become for their child, and even if they would never be married, or would cease to be romantically linked, he would always be in her heart and her life, for she was always going to be in his. And maybe that was enough for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the end, though it kinda feels like it is. More to come, guys :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of a transitional chapter but with more than enough angst because everyone seems to enjoy it :)

They were in the middle of watching one of Danny’s Ken Burns documentaries when Mindy’s ankles, which were on Danny lap being massaged, felt like there was something wet falling on them. Mindy was surprised and mortified to find Danny crying silently on the other end of the couch. It wasn’t like a sniffle either, he was full-on sobbing now. Mindy was really at a loss. After she had told him how she was feeling OK about their situation, how not being his girlfriend and eventually his wife would be OK with her because they would always love each other and their child would always be an unbreakable connection between them, she had thought that it would assure him of the stability of their situation in the long run. What she didn’t expect was to find him crying miserably on the receiving end. She tried joking as she was a little bit afraid of how vulnerable he looked:

\- Danny, if you don’t want to massage my feet, just tell me. I won’t hold it against you when we argue how many pieces of designer’s clothing should be in our son’s closet.

He raised his head and looked at her now, the pain in his eyes and the tears chasing down his cheeks at the blinks of his pony eyelashes clenched her heart. She put her feet down on the floor and clung herself to him in the need to comfort him. She was holding him as tightly as her protruding midsection allowed and gently stroking his back when she asked him between his hiccups:

\- Danny, what’s wrong? Please talk to me. You’re scaring me.

He held her tightly as if to anchored himself to her, as if he was afraid if he let go she would disappear but still said nothing, just alternating between shaking his head and burying it in her hair. Mindy pressed kisses on his shoulder and mouthed soothing words to him in the effort to get him to calm down. After what seemed like forever, Danny was able to find his composure somewhat. He still looked like he was dying, though, so Mindy continued petting him and let him put his head on her lap. She stroke through his hair gently as he found some kind of comfort in his sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was writen in a frenzy so it may not be very good. But i really like where this is going now and hope that I can update more frequently. Once again, I really love comments and appreciate every one who has given this a try.

The sun beams streaming into Mindy’s room startled Danny awake. At first, he was a little lost as to where he was. Then he remembered, sometime during the night, Mindy had woken him up from the couch and led him by the hand to her bed, the feel of her warmth had made him fell asleep right then, seeking safety in unconsciousness with Mindy beside him. But he could no longer hide away. He had to tell her why he was crying and what he had wanted to say for the past few months. When he was sitting on the couch watching TV with Mindy, he couldn’t help but feel like they had been back to square one. He was back to pining for her without her never recognizing it, and she would eventually get back to the dating scene and find somebody more worthy of her love. Even though he wasn’t afraid of her leaving his life, with the child being their unbreakable link, the fact that she would eventually stop loving him saddened him deeply. He had always felt like it was his fault that his father left, and it was his fault that Christina had stopped loving him and cheated on him. But, being with Mindy, being loved by her had taught him that he was loveable, and very much loved. That those people who had left him were those who messed up, who took him for granted. He had started to believe that there were people who loved him and cared for him, and stayed with him even when he was not very likable, like the time he had insisted on Mindy eating healthier in such a condescending and unforgiving way that it had given her stress-barfs. Until now, when his cowardice and his fears had stood between him and the person loving him. It was him who messed up time and time again with Mindy, and it was him who took her love and the happy life they had built together for granted. He did want her to be in his life, but the fact that she would stop seeing him as a romantic partner killed him when he knew he could never stop loving her as a man loved a woman, when he knew that the bruises and pains and loneliness stacked up in his soul would never be soothed by her gentle touch, when he knew that someone else’s life would be brightened by her sunshine and his would be left slowly devoured by darkness. That was why he cried, and that was why he had to propose to her. He had to love her in a way that she understood, that she believed in, and that she deserved. He couldn’t wait any longer to ask her, so he decided to wake her up and ask her right then and there. He knew she wouldn’t believe him right away, but he was going to spend the rest of his life convincing her.

He was trying to get her to wake up when he heard the sound of a bubble bursting, and saw Mindy opened her eyes instantly. She turned to look at him, then looked down to her stomach and the wetness between her thighs, and said with a creaky voice: “ I think my water just broke”. 

His brain went into overdrive then. He got out of bed in an instant and put on his pants. He helped Mindy sit up, checked her pulse and slowly led her to the bathroom so that she could wash her face and get dressed. When Mindy opened the bathroom door, Danny had already called for a cab and was standing there with the hospital bag they had prepared together waiting for her. He was sweating profusely, his expressions pained with every sharp intake of breath Mindy took when the contractions were getting closer and closer to each other. The cab ride and everything followed it was a blur when Danny went into autopilot, doing everything out reflexes for he was too afraid of anything bad happening to Mindy and his child. Not until Mindy yelled loudly at him for making her pregnant and the loud cry of their baby boy was heard right after by everyone in the 1-mile radius, did he realize he was crying, yet again, while holding tightly to Mindy’s hands and stuttering loving words about how beautiful and brave she was. He almost didn’t trust himself to cut the umbilical cord of his child with his trembling hands, but the proud and happy look on Mindy’s face gave him the strength he needed to finished the job.

It was 1 a.m. His son was born for almost a day and he was holding him for most of it. He just couldn’t seem to be part from him. He looked over at Mindy, deep in her slumber from exhaustion and emotions, and he didn’t think he could love anyone more than he loved Mindy and their baby. He smiled ruefully at his child when he remembered what he had been about to do when Mindy’s water broke. He said to the child: “ I guess you wanna do it with me, right, buddy?” Then kissed his head softly before returning him to his crib. He took a seat next to Mindy’s bed and held her hand gently in his. In the presence of his child he softly told her his vows, the vows he would use in their wedding, and would try to live up to everyday for the rest of his life.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am super duper happy about The Mindy Project's renewal. I just want to thank everyone in our fandom, we've done it, guys!!!!!! :))))

The particularly loud grunt in the soft snoring sounds Danny were making woke Mindy up in the middle of the night. Ever since she had given birth, her maternal instincts had increased tenfold, and in the wee hour of early mornings, just a little louder than the snoozing sounds of the man beside her was enough to make her open her eyes and cast a watchful glance over her baby boy, who was sleeping between her and Danny.

She found herself unable to go back to sleep, mesmerized by the heavenly sight right in front of her. It had been her decision to co-sleep with the baby, and her decision still, to let Danny do it with her in her bed. He had seemed extremely conflicted when she announced that she wanted to do all the co-sleeping thing with the baby. The love and longing in his eyes told her what he hadn’t been able to verbalize, so she just plowed through the second decision by taking his arm and dragging him into her bed every night to sleep with their child between them, because even she was at a loss for how to explain their situation and sleeping arrangement. After the third night in a row, Danny got the message and didn’t make her physically drag him into her bedroom anymore. Every night, he would help her feed the baby, change most of his diapers, and kiss his soft head before closing his own eyes and falling asleep. Mindy had a hard time resisting Danny nowadays. He was so gentle, and protective, and loving to both her and the baby. He had to go back to work almost immediately after her birth so that he could shoulder her workload as well. And it had been taking its toll on him. He always looked exhausted when he came home and yet had always ever been attentive to Mindy and the baby’s needs. A week after he had gone back to work, when their child was cooing in the bed, not ready for sleeping yet, thanks to an overextended afternoon nap, Mindy had looked over at Danny on the other side of the bed, who had been watching their child playing with his fingers with happy yet tired eyes, and said: “ Danny, please go to sleep. You really look like you could get some rest.” . Smiling weakly at Mindy, he’d replied: “Just gonna stay awake until little Tony sleep, Min.” Rolling her eyes, Mindy’d started scooting closer to his side of the bed, and running her hands up and down his arm, then his back and said in a soothing voice: “shssss, just close your eyes a little, for me, OK? Close your eyes, Danny, close your eyes.” It hadn’t surprised her at all when it had taken him less than a minute to fall into a deep slumber, with his big finger still intertwined with their son’s tiny hands. Mindy couldn’t help dropping little kisses on Danny’s forehead, for he had looked so childlike and peaceful in his sleep. 

And now, they were here again, in her bed, separated only by the presence of little Tony ( Mindy still coulnd’t believe she had caved with the name Anthony, but “Tony” really had a nice ring to it so she let that battle wait for another day). Mindy wished they could have been like this forever-happy and together in their little bubble filled with love, she had even forgone the 3-month deadline for them to separate their sleeping arrangement and had enjoyed and craved for every little physical contact between her and Danny as if they had been a normal couple, except for the sex. But now, after three months being back to work herself, and her body having gotten back to its pre-baby size, she knew things would have to change soon. Tamra and her cousin, along with Gwen had joined forces to get her back to the dating scene, which, they believed, would help her at least in letting Danny go as a romantic prospect. Mindy thought the reason she couldn’t go back to sleep on this particular night was because of the prospect of tomorrow, where she would go on a first date, something she had thought she would never have to do ever again. Mindy left the bitterness of that thought at the back of her mind, for now she was going to have to approach this subject with Danny. She hadn’t known how to tell him this for a couple of weeks, so she had ignored it, until now. She knew she would have to say something to him about this date soon, since it would happen in like, 14 hours. Mindy wasn’t sure if she really wanted to be single again, to leave Danny for good. It was not only because she hated first dates, and getting to know someone all over again, though it was a big part of her hesitation, it was because she still loved Danny, so much, more than anything she knew. The end of this train of thought pushed Mindy out of her reluctance, though. She realized that if it hurt this much to put herself before him, to choose her happiness even if it was at the expense of his, it would be so much worse to put him first and then let him disappoint her again. She was done playing games. She was done tiptoeing around Danny’s comfortness and waiting and praying he would let her in. She had someone she had to take care of now. She couldn’t get her heart broken and then take heartsick days anymore. There would be no free time, no heartsick days, no wine-soaked nights in her foreseeable future. She was sure no one could hurt her as much as Danny, he was THE ONE and he would always be. So she would go on this date, she would have some fun, she would talk to some man and she would even let him kiss her at the end of the date, if he was second-date material, because she had been through enough, and she deserved to be happy, no matter how fleetingly her happiness was, she was going to take it all.


	7. Chapter 7

Mindy was sitting at the dining table digesting her french toasts when she decided to came out with the news of the imminent date she had tonight. She looked over at Danny, who was balancing their son on his hips while trying to feed him some jam on an adorable kiddy spoon, the sound of their laughing music to her ears. She wished she hadn’t have to do this, to make Danny sad when he was glowing with happiness. But where would this leave her, and where would it leave her son, when Danny decided he had had enough and run out the door? So she steeled herself and called: “Danny, can we talk? I have something I need to tell you.” He turned his head up to look at her, his eyes rounded with curiosity, and maybe thread. He walked over to the dining table, put Tony in his high chair, and took a seat beside him, facing Mindy. He asked: “What’s wrong, Min?”. She felt momentarily ridiculous, having to parade her love life in front of him while he stood on the sideline, but the words went out of her mouth before she got a chance for second thoughts: “Danny, I’m going out tonight, since you have today and tomorrow off, could you stay home and watch Tony?”. He relaxed a bit when he remembered her mentioning in passing that she wanted to go out and have drinks with her girlfriends a couple of weeks ago. He smiled and said:” Sure thing, MIn. Just don’t let Alex drag you into drinking a whole bottle of Tequila this time, you grind your teeth in your sleep when you’re drunk. you’ll wake Little Tony up and he’ll never get back to sleep.”.

It was so easy to lie to him, to let him thing that this was just a girls’ night out. Yet, Mindy knew she couldn’t do this to him, and to herself. She had always taken everything in strides, and this would not be an exception. She lowered her eyes to the table and mumbled: “ No, Danny. I’m going on a date tonight, with Alex’s friend, Roger. You may have known him at Alex and your party a couple of years ago.” 

Several seconds ticked by before she raised her head to look at him . She was half afraid, half hoping he would be angry, he would protest, he would do something drastic. But she hadn’t expected him to look like this. He looked like someone had cut off the ground beneath his feet and left him falling ceaselessly, to what she had no idea. He picked up his child and held him close against his chest, eyes glued on the dining table, avoiding hers. Mindy imagined this was what Danny must have looked like when his dad first left. He must have looked exactly like this, holding little Richie close for both their sake, wishing for a miracle. It pained her to think that she was leaving him like his dad did, but she thought it was even crueler to all three of them, to keep on wishing for things to be better, without facing the harsh reality, one where he was not committed enough to her, not to the extent that would make her feel safe enough to work as hard as she could to build the future with him. So, even though a big piece of her was dying, leaving him and their child like that. She closed her eyes, took a long breath, and walked away into the bedroom to get ready for work.

Danny looked up to see Mindy’s retreating figure. He didn’t even bother wiping the tears now. The past few months had had him debating with himself whether or not he should propose as soon as possible. He hated where their relationship had been after the birth of his son. They were together taking care of their son, talking about things most of the time now, but he almost always felt alone. Mindy hadn’t talked to him about anything not concerning work or their child, she rarely smiled at him, and physical contacts were no longer a reality. It felt like he was shut out of her life, and it was worse than when they had broken up. There was no sense of finality, no chance of recuperate or hiding away from the pain of disappointments. Every morning he woke up with a sense of renewed hope and courage to work for their relationship, and yet, every day she would keep her distance, she would look away from his eyes when he did something nice to make her happy, she would share with Peter, Gwen, and even Tamra her worries about her weight, the way she look, and she would only bestow her kisses, hugs, and unguarded affection on their child. The most contact he had gotten from her had been when she was coaxing him to fall asleep after a long day of hard work. Yet, what killed Danny was how it felt like Mindy was shutting out happiness from her life as well. She looked sad, and she never laughed anymore. Every night before he fell asleep, he remembered how the sparkles in her eyes had gone and he was overcome with disappointment and anger at himself, for not being brave enough to fight for the both of them, for not saying anything about what he wanted. But it was too late now. Mindy had decided for them both. She had come to a conclusion that he had dreaded she would, that he was not good enough for her, and now she was acting on that decision. He had wanted to scream at her, to grovel, and beg her for forgiveness, for another chance, for their happiness and their family, but the words wouldn’t come. He knew that he had hurt her so many times, that he had run out of his chances with her, so he kept his mouth shut and held his son close so that he could withstand the pain of a broken heart and dying hopes with a shred of dignity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for taking so long to update. This chapter has been particular difficult for me to finish. I hope you all still want to read this. I would love any comments that come my way :)

**Author's Note:**

> This is here thanks to the great and most appreciated encouragement of Azarealstrikes on Tumblr.  
> Feel free to stalk me on tumblr at InadvertentlyRomantic. Comments are always welcome but since it's my first time writing for an audience other than myself, please go easy on me :)


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